Unpacking the Voice Inside Your Head
Hi, I’m Doctor Mary Newstrom.
Speaker 2
And I’m Dawn Morningstar, welcome to Soul Fire Sisters, a sacred space where we ignite women’s inner fire, awaken their truth, and share soulful conversations that inspire, heal, and empower.
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Each episode we dive deep into themes of self discovery, intuition, feminine wisdom, and spiritual growth, guided by raw stories, fierce honesty, and a shared desire to live boldly and authentically.
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Whether you’re on a healing journey, seeking deeper connection, or ready to rise in your power, you are not alone.
Speaker 1
Dawn Morningstar, which is her given name, has been a Women’s Self Empowerment Coach for 37 years, is the award-winning author of Venerable Women Transform Our Self.
Transform the World is a former radio talk show host, a podcast host, Ted X Speaker, the creator of Radiant Face 18 and Co founder of New World Women.
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Doctor Mary Newstrom is an internationally known shamanic teacher, a spiritual minister, and a keynote speaker.
She founded Zenith High LLC and created Spirit Flower, a shamanic study program for women.
She’s committed to helping women and men develop a strong sense of purpose as they examine and understand how to stand clearly in their power.
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Welcome to the sisterhood, Your soul showed up for a reason.
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Welcome back, Soul Fire Sisters.
I’m Dawn Morningstar.
Speaker 1
And I’m Doctor Mary Newstrom and sisters, we are so glad you.
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Are here.
Yeah, we really are.
I want to ask you something right at the start of this episode, and I want you to really sit with it when you talk to yourself, like the voice inside your head, the one that’s been with you your whole life, whose voice is it really?
Speaker 1
And that’s a very good question.
Speaker 2
Yeah, it is because so many of us are walking around thinking we know who we are, what we deserve, what’s possible for us.
And we never stopped to ask, where did that story come from?
Did I choose it or was it handed to me by my family, my culture, my religion, the world I was born into?
Speaker 1
Absolutely, and in the shamanic traditions, we’d also say what you’re caring is not even yours.
It maybe was never yours, and today we’re going to talk about how to give back those things that are not something you own.
Speaker 2
Absolutely.
Give it back, give it back.
Let’s take a breath before we go in.
Just pause.
Wherever you are, breathe in slowly and then let it go.
You’re allowed to put things down even for the next few minutes, especially in the next few minutes.
So let’s name what we mean by spells.
That’s not a word that we use a whole lot, and maybe it has some connotations because we don’t use it lightly and we don’t use it metaphorically.
Words That Become Declarations and Self-Curses
We are using it because we think it’s the most accurate word.
Speaker 1
Absolutely.
Tell us more.
Speaker 2
Well, a spell is, you know, using words that have power over you, words that shape what you see, what you believe, what you do without you even knowing that they’re working.
And we’ve all been living inside some very powerful spells, like you’re too sensitive, you’re not that smart.
Who do you think you are?
Women like us don’t do things.
Speaker 1
Like that?
Yes.
And the most insidious ones, the ones that are the hardest to break, are the ones you started saying to yourself, maybe you heard them from somewhere else, but now you’re repeating them negative self talk.
And because at some point you took over the job of feeding this and you didn’t, you don’t need anybody else say it anymore.
Speaker 2
No, you really don’t.
You know, self curses, they can be called or the inner critic or like you said, marry negative self talk that all create what a teacher of mine called day mares instead of nightmares.
Day mares.
The things that we say about ourselves that become load bearing walls in the architecture of our identity.
Things like I’m always late, I’m terrible with money.
I just can’t seem to finish things If they’re repeated enough, they’re they’re not descriptions anymore.
They’re declarations.
They are spells you are casting on yourself every single day.
Speaker 1
Absolutely.
And these declarations have wait.
I’ve seen more and more clients with self curses, things that have the energy to bind you up, stop you in your tracks.
And through that constant energetic exchange with yourself, they’re now contracts.
You can even think of those as contracts and that we as women have really bought into these.
Enter this energy that will stop us.
Speaker 2
Yes, yes.
And you’re right that all many women have taken some kind of vow and sometimes it’s a vow that was passed down from a generation before, like a vow of poverty or something like that can pass down to us.
And these are the things that we’re going to be talking about, Mary.
Unraveling Spells from Your Ancestral Lineage
This is where your work goes, places that I find genuinely mind opening because you’re not just talking about the stories we inherited from our own childhoods.
You’re talking about lineage like generations of story.
Speaker 1
Absolutely.
And what we see, what I see constantly is individuals coming in with the the invisible energy that has travelled through generation and generation where they that that may be poverty or you’re good in this area, not good in that area.
And so it really does take on a life of itself through that energetic generational lineage.
And then you’re feeding it with your own energy by the self talk that then turns into a self curse.
Speaker 2
It’s like a proclamation.
We keep proclaiming it to be true over and over.
And you know what, what strikes me about what you just said is, you know, you just have such compassion in it.
When you talk about it, you’re, you’re, you’re saying it’s, it’s not your family damaged you.
It’s just that your family was doing the best they could with the spells that were cast on them and by spells we could probably use interchangeably.
Stories that we’re told, right?
I mean, it doesn’t even have to be a spell.
It could be like you were saying before, you know, stories that you know, like, perhaps like, oh, things like that don’t happen for people like us.
That’s for people like you know, who are rich or people who live on this side of town or you know, for other people.
So it can be the stories that we grew up with.
They turn into spells and self curses.
Speaker 1
That’s true.
And it’s it.
And what I what I’ve seen too is these are usually not done deliberately.
They are just done because that’s how we’ve learned to talk or we’ve that’s that’s the energy coming at us.
Or that was like, we already talked about the the ancestors.
Well, you know, our lineage is known for this.
And so we don’t do that or the trauma, you know, when people have so much trauma, there also is a there’s possibilities of that self curse, that limiting belief that really stops you from achieving your really your highest good.
Speaker 2
Absolutely.
How the Gregorian Calendar Colonized Sacred Time
Absolutely.
I want to zoom out for a moment.
Because there’s a category of spell that is so enormous, so woven into the fabric of our lives, that we almost never see it.
And it has to do with time itself.
Speaker 1
Yes, let’s go there.
Speaker 2
This one gets me.
When I first learned about this, I was kind of my, you know, mind blown.
We live inside a calendar that was designed, literally designed as an instrument of power.
So the Gregorian calendar was imposed by the Roman Catholic Church in 1582, and it replaced the older systems that were rooted in the lunar cycles, cycles of the moon, the seasonal rhythms, the actual turning of the Earth.
And when you change the calendar, you change what gets celebrated, what gets forgotten, and who holds the authority to declare what is sacred, what is meaningful.
Speaker 1
Totally.
And this is so important to really think deep about this because also nature, Earth, she doesn’t know that it’s January 1 and here we are celebrating new beginnings, but she’s asleep.
Depth of winter and in North America.
And so she’s resting, she’s composting, she’s slowing down, and here we’re out looking at renewal and new beginnings when really it’s still a resting period.
Speaker 2
Yeah, we’re out there making the resolutions, popping the champagne bottles.
And then we wonder why, like a month later, we haven’t really done the things that we said, you know, and all of this is against our own nature.
And you know, like I said, that’s when resolutions don’t stick and we feel terrible.
Speaker 1
Totally, totally.
And you know what, I think maybe that’s why I’ve never done gotten really into resolutions because I am still honouring that winter rest.
But things go deeper than just looking at New Year’s.
Think about the major holidays, Christmas, Easter, Halloween.
Nearly every one of them was layered on top of older earth based celebrations.
The winter solstice, the summer equinox saw when the church didn’t replace those holy days, it colonized them.
Because you can’t take away what people really feel in their hearts and their bones when the light shifts.
Then what do you do?
If you want to own it, you rebrand it.
Speaker 2
Boy, that bugs me.
You rebrand the sacred so that the sacred now belongs to you, right?
And in this case, we’re talking about these authorities and the people who honored the old ways, who felt the new year in the returning of the light at Solstice, who knew that the thinning of the veil at Salon was real.
They became the heretics, the witches, the ones to be feared.
Speaker 1
And you know what?
A lot of the women listening to this, your ancestors were probably those women.
Speaker 2
Absolutely, Yeah.
I mean, take a minute right now and see what do you feel when you think about that?
Do you do you feel that that is in your lineage?
You know, it lands differently when we think about it like that.
So when we talk about breaking spells, this is one of the deepest ones, the spell that says the dominant cultures version of time, of meaning, of what’s sacred.
That’s the real one, Your felt sense of seasons and your own body’s rhythm, your bone deep knowing that something shifts at the solstice.
That’s just superstition, you know, It’s diminished as superstition.
Speaker 1
It totally.
It’s diminished.
And the antidote, as always, is coming back to Earth, getting In Sync, getting In Sync with the moon and the sun and Earth and her own calendar.
And she hasn’t forgotten.
When we align with her, we remember things that were taken from us a very long time ago.
Speaker 2
Yeah.
You Are the Author of Your Life
And I think, you know, it’s important to, I’m saying this for myself and for everyone else to not get angry about this because the anger won’t do us any good.
But let’s just shift it.
Let’s talk about the rewrite, because I think sometimes people here break the spell and they think it means what exactly?
Like is it positive thinking?
Is it affirmations?
Is it just deciding to believe something different?
Speaker 1
Yeah, it’s so much more than all of that.
Speaker 2
Yeah, it is so much more.
And my coaching work, I call this creating a personal mythology.
Each person can create their own story or mythology because mythology isn’t a lie.
It’s a story that carries truth at a deeper level.
Excuse me?
It carries at a level deeper than facts.
It just you feel it inside yourself.
Speaker 1
Yeah.
And, you know, every, every culture that’s ever thrived, thrived has this mythology.
They have a set of stories about who they were, where they came from, what they’re capable and what we’re here to do.
And the the history’s been rewritten.
So women were left out of this.
So women were not supposed to have that.
We’re not supposed to to be someone in someone else’s story or we’re just the support.
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People right?
Speaker 1
We’re not the key people.
Speaker 2
Right, right, right.
We’re in the supporting role always, never in the starring.
Speaker 1
Role.
It just drives me crazy.
We’re always a supporting person.
Like what?
Which is, by the way, so, so untrue.
Because women are usually the strength and the things, everything moving.
That’s right.
I know everybody knows what I’m talking about.
Speaker 2
Yeah, we do.
We do.
Amen, sister.
I’m with you on that.
The rewrite begins when you decide that you are the author of your life.
You’re not the character that somebody else created.
You’re not the cautionary tale.
You’re not the supporting role, as we were just saying, and you’re not the stories from others.
You are the author.
Speaker 1
Yeah, and you know what it takes?
Why Ritual Works Better Than Affirmations
It take means looking honestly at the story you’ve been living and what the central beliefs are and where they came from.
And I’m going to go out on a limb, but I’m going to say a lot of them probably came from somewhere else.
Yeah.
And you know, you’re looking at, are they true to you?
You want to start evaluating what is true to you.
Are they yours or did you just inherit them?
And by the way, we can still honor all those ones you inherited.
They just do not need to be in your energy field and directing you with where you’re going and more importantly, where you’re not going.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And so some things that I do, Well, first of all, examining your life is one thing to do.
It’s like, where did these beliefs come from?
And we can use compassion with that.
But I, I, you know, when I’m looking at things, I want to also, let’s say you have some negative self tape self talk going on, which could be coming from your generational lineage, but you can work actively to reframe those by saying there’s another way of looking at this.
And so you instead of like, you know, I’m no good with money.
It’s like I, I’m very good with money.
My budget is, you know, I know how to budget whatever.
Yeah, I know.
Everybody knows these affirmation.
Affirmation.
So it’s like reframing things so that they’re positive.
So what you’re doing is feeding that energetic flow instead of binding you up.
Stopping you is to set you free.
Speaker 2
Is to let.
Speaker 1
You go and be your best self.
Speaker 2
Exactly.
And with those affirmations, I think it’s important that we believe them when we say them.
So for example, you know, if you’re not really good with money, you can reframe it to I’m learning to be better with money, that sort of thing, right.
And I want to say something to any woman listening who has spent years in personal development.
She’s been reading the books, doing the work, and still feeling like the story hasn’t really changed.
Is that you?
I mean, does that happen to you?
You’re doing all this stuff?
And it’s like, oh, my gosh, here I am in the same place.
This is why I know, right?
I mean, it’s true.
It’s true because some of these spells, they don’t yield to new information.
They yield to ritual.
They yield to building new circuits of love to the parts of yourself that feel lost, damaged, or unhealed.
They yield to something older than the thinking mind.
And if you want to learn more about how to build new circuits of love to those parts of yourself that are what you might think of as less than Doctor Sue Mortar’s book, The Anatomy of Awakening, she has extraordinary information.
Like I’ve said before, we hear people say just love yourself, but nobody ever tells you what that really looks like.
Breaking Habits Passed Down Through Generations
So let’s go to story time now.
Mary, do you have one like a moment where either you witnessed someone break a spell that had been running their lives or some other story about this?
Speaker 1
Actually so many that I I can’t even get into them.
But self curses are very, very prevalent for all the reasons we just laid out.
And when clients come to me, I help unravel them.
It really isn’t unraveling going back to where they started either in this in this lifetime or going back generations to get to the point that they that the energy landed on maybe an ancestor.
And so it’s now gone through the generational lines.
But really it’s an unraveling.
And I know that there might be people thinking, well, how do I know if I have a curse, self curse?
And really the way to look at it is, is something stopping you from achieving things that you’re feeling like there’s energy binding you up?
That’s the easiest way for me to explain it without going into too much depth.
But yes, I’ve seen people unraveling.
It successfully changes their life when they’re able to really dissipate that energy that’s holding them back.
Speaker 2
Very well said.
Thank you, Mary.
I what comes to mind for me right now are two things.
One is how doing this kind of work in community is really helpful.
And I know in New World Women, even if we’re not specifically focused on this particular aspect of it, it’s great to be around other women who are on the path, doing the work, doing the healing, you know, being, you know, as high consciousness as they can possibly be.
So New World Women is such a great place for that.
And so I realized when we were talking about this, Mary, that a lot of this is pretty heavy stuff, right?
So I thought I would share a story of how things get passed down to us.
And sometimes we don’t know why, but we just keep on doing them.
So this is a story, maybe some of you have heard it, where a woman was with her mother in the kitchen and she’s baking.
They’re they’re baking bread together.
And the mother rolls out the bread and turns it into a loaf.
And then she takes the loaf that’s fully formed and she cuts off about 1/4 of it and puts that to the side.
And so the young woman learns, has learned throughout her life, that you make the loaf and you cut off 1/4 of it and you put it to the side.
So one day she finally asked her mother why?
Why do you do that?
And she said because my my pan is too short.
Speaker 1
For the whole, that’s so.
Speaker 2
So it’s kind of like we, we do these things, we repeat them.
We think it’s some kind of ritual or ceremony or some special thing, but it could be for a very different reason.
So maybe think about that in your own life.
What are you repeating that doesn’t really need to keep repeating in your life?
Release Old Stories with a Fire Ceremony
So we’re closing this episode a little differently, dear ones.
Your soul fire spark, this ritual, this this week is a ritual, a real 1.
You can do it tonight.
It takes about 5 minutes and all you need is something to write on and some paper.
Speaker 1
Yes.
And what it is is it’s going to be, I’d say like a mini fire ceremony, which is very exciting.
Here’s what you do.
You find a quiet moment, light a candle if you have one.
Be careful of course, and write down just one thing that’s binding you up.
That might be a self curse or a spell holding you back.
Just one for now.
One story about yourself that you’ve been caring so long you maybe even stopped questioning it.
But you know this is an issue.
And write it plainly like I’m not enough or even I’m too much.
Speaker 2
Too much, yeah.
Speaker 1
By the way, I just was recently told that by some by one of I’m not going to get into it, but I was told your energy is too much.
And I said, well, we’re going to need to figure out how you can deal with that because I’m not changing.
That’s right.
So another thing is like women in my family don’t succeed.
Whatever it is you, I think you’re getting the idea of what to write down South.
Write down one thing that is binding you up, holding you back that you want to.
Speaker 2
Release and then read it out loud and say these words after it say them out loud and that’s important.
Say this was never mine to carry.
I release it now.
I choose a new story.
I’m going to read that again to you.
This was never mine to carry.
I release it now.
I choose a news story.
Speaker 1
And then you know what, if it’s safe now, if it’s safe, go ahead and burn it.
This is the aspect of the fire ceremony.
You can even tear it into little pieces you could buried in earth.
That is another way of doing it, this type of ceremony.
So it’s being released, or you can also put it in water or get dissolvable paper and dissolve it.
So there’s lots of different ways, but you want to give it back to the elements, give it back to Earth.
And the physical act of releasing.
It’s not symbolic, It’s real.
You are unraveling this curse, unraveling the energy that is holding you back.
And it’s symbolic of this nervous system is feeling the ending of it too.
So you’re unraveling that energy.
Speaker 2
And your nervous system is doing the happy dance once you’ve done that.
And then this is the part that people sometimes skip.
Write one sentence of your new story.
Just one.
Not a whole new mythology yet.
Just one true sentence about who you actually are.
Start there.
Speaker 1
Yeah.
And I I would tack that up where you see it every day.
Speaker 2
Yeah.
Speaker 1
And so what’s going to happen is you are then seeding the the universe to manifest your new story.
You are rewriting everything and I’ll and then you’re giving that to the universe to create something spectacular.
Speaker 2
Yeah.
And just to give a couple of examples, like if you had written down, you know, I, I’m, I’m not enough, you know, you could write something like I, I am, I am just right, or I am just the right amount of energy or whatever.
It may be something that feels authentic to you because if it doesn’t feel authentic, you won’t believe it.
So make sure that you do that.
And so like the one example we had given where, you know, women in my family don’t succeed.
It can be something like I am designed to succeed.
So yeah, this can all happen very quickly.
We don’t need years of therapy for this.
Not that I’m diminishing therapy in any way, but for this particular thing, you could do this tonight.
Speaker 1
Absolutely.
Create a New World for Future Generations
Hey Soul Fire sisters, we hope something cracked open for you today.
And we hope that your yourself curses are unraveling as well.
And we’re talking about the good kind of cracked open kind that lets the light in so that we have new opportunities with new energy.
Speaker 2
Until we meet again, feel the fire in your soul and live from it.
Speaker 1
Our world needs your passion, your gifts, your heart.
Don’t wait, lean in.
Do it now.
Whatever it is, do it now.
Speaker 2
Let’s create a new world for ourselves and for future generations.
Thank you, dear listeners, for sharing this sacred space with us today.
Soul Fire Sisters is lovingly created and produced by ME, Dawn Morningstar and Doctor Mary Newstrom with editing and publishing by Sean Fujio.
Speaker 1
This podcast is brought to you by Zenith High LLC, Spear Flow Shamanic Study Programs, New World Women, Radiant Face 18 and is featured on the New World Women Voices of Wisdom podcast.
Speaker 2
You can find all the ways to connect with us in the show notes.
Farewell for now and remember your soul fire knows the way.
Speaker 1
Bye everyone.
Speaker 2
Bye, take care.
Speaker 1
Hey Soul Fire Sisters, we hope you’ve enjoyed this episode.
Please share Soul Fire Sisters with your friends.
Speaker 2
Until we meet again, reflect on the changes you want to make, feel the fire in your soul, and live from that fire.
Speaker 1
Our world needs your passion, your gifts, your heart.
Don’t wait, do it now.
Whatever your it is, do it now.
Speaker 2
Let’s use our power to create a world we actually want to live in, a loving new world for ourselves and for future generations.
We’ve got this.