Ignite Your Inner Fire: Welcome to SoulFire Sisters
Hi, I’m Doctor Mary Newstrom.
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And I’m Dawn Morningstar, welcome to Soul Fire Sisters, a sacred space where we ignite women’s inner fire, awaken their truth, and share soulful conversations that inspire, heal, and empower.
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Each episode we dive deep into themes of self discovery, intuition, feminine wisdom, and spiritual growth, guided by raw stories, fierce honesty, and a shared desire to live boldly and authentically.
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Whether you’re on a healing journey, seeking deeper connection, or ready to rise in your power, you are not alone.
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Dawn Morningstar, which is her given name, has been a Women’s Self Empowerment Coach for 37 years, is the award-winning author of Venerable Women, Transform Ourself.
Transform the World is a former radio talk show host, a podcast host, Ted X Speaker, the creator of Radiant Face 18 and Co founder of New World Women.
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Doctor Mary Newstrom is an internationally known shamanic teacher, a spiritual minister, and a keynote speaker.
She founded Zenith High LLC and created Spirit Flower, a shamanic study program for women.
She’s committed to helping women and men develop a strong sense of purpose as they examine and understand how to stand clearly in their power.
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Welcome to the sisterhood, Your soul showed up for a reason.
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Welcome back, Soul Fire Sisters.
I’m Dawn Morningstar.
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And I’m Doctor Mary Newstrom.
We’re so glad that you’re here with us today.
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In our last episode, we went deep into spirit guides, ancestors and allies, all of the helpers who are walking this path with you.
And the response has been so beautiful, so many of you reaching out to us to say I tried it.
I asked.
Something came.
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Totally.
Which means you’re ready for today.
Because here’s the thing, the more open you become, the more you feel, the more you sense, the more important it becomes to understanding your energy.
That’s why it’s so important that you understand energy, what’s yours, what isn’t, and how to protect what’s precious.
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So true, Mary, everything is energy.
Everything is energy.
Today we are talking about energetic boundaries.
Well, that’s a word, right?
The B word.
And I want to say this right up front.
This is not about building walls and it’s not about closing off or hardening yourself, which a lot of people think that’s what boundaries are.
This is about learning to be fully open and fully protected at the same time, which, yes, that is possible.
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And that is the art of the whole energetic protection.
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I love that.
Grounding in Shamanic Wisdom: Understanding Energetic Flow
Let’s begin the way we always do, with a breath.
Wherever you are right now, let yourself arrive.
Breathe in and let go.
Feel the edges of your own body.
Notice where you end and the rest of the world begins.
That’s noticing.
That’s already the practice, Mary.
I want to start off with the foundation because I think energy is one of those words that gets used so freely in spiritual circles and beyond that it can start to feel vague.
Can you ground us in your earth based shamanic understanding?
Like what are we actually talking about when we say someone else’s energy is affecting us or impacting us?
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You know, I really appreciate starting here because you’re right, the word energy in some ways has become overused or it’s lost its meaning.
And in shamanic and earth based tradition traditions where I work, energy is not conceptual or abstract.
It’s, it is really concrete, a feeling and idea.
And I say a lot of times what you feed energetically grows at the core.
When we talk about energy, we’re talking about life force things.
Everything that exists has that energy.
So when someone else’s energy is affecting us, we’re really naming and saying that we’re not a closed system.
Actually, we are energetically exchanging energy with people all the time.
We’re continuously exchanging it and your body is sensing it.
That’s why it’s really important to understand this.
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Yes, yeah.
I mean, I, I, I can imagine we’ve all had the experience of having someone who it feels like they’re invading our boundaries.
Like, you know, I, I’ve had that happen where I just almost want to push the person back, you know?
And so that’s our auric field, right?
Our proprioceptive territory.
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And I think you can, people can easily experiment with this, having people, how close does it take to for them, someone to stand to you before you’re feeling like they’re too close or in too much into your personal space?
And it’s different in the front than the back.
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Of it’s what?
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It is different in the front.
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In the back, is that because you can’t see behind you and you might feel more threatened if someone’s closer behind or why is that I.
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Think it’s actually the opposite.
You would get closer in the front.
You feel them sooner because you have so much at.
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The.
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Back is not as open, but everybody could be different.
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Yeah, Yeah.
Well, that must be why.
And Feng shui, they say that when you’re arranging your office, you shouldn’t have your your back facing the door of the room that you’re in and the same thing like in a restaurant, if you can help it.
So, yeah.
Why Sensitive Women Feel Exhausted: The Empath’s Burden
So, you know, and from my perspective as a coach working with women, building their lives and their businesses and my work in New World women, I see this play out in such practical ways.
A client gets off a phone call with a draining person and suddenly she can’t think straight.
Her clarity is just gone.
Or she walks into a room and immediately feels heavy for no reason that she can name.
And that’s not her imagination, that’s information.
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Totally.
And the body’s the instrument that’s really picking that up.
And that’s why it the skill is really the discernment of understanding it.
You were always reading the room, even if you don’t think you are.
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Absolutely.
And most of us were never taught to trust that reading, let alone to respond to it in any way.
It’s just like, you know, sometimes we would feel off, but we wouldn’t know why.
And so having this knowledge can help us to even ask ourselves in the moment, why am I feeling this way?
And then you can act upon that.
So there’s a certain kind of woman who I think is especially going to recognize herself in this episode.
She’s the one everyone brings their problems to.
She’s the helper, the fixer, the one who can always feel what’s happening in a room even when no one is saying it out loud.
She’s deeply empathetic.
She might even be an empath.
And she is often completely exhausted.
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I agree, Dawn, that I think there’s going to be many women that are going to identify with this and she might be also conscious of it or not that she realizing that she’s feeling everyone’s energy and that can become an issue.
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Yeah, yeah.
And she’s spending so much time on everybody else’s energy that she’s not even feeling her own right.
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When we grow up in an environments where our own emotions aren’t welcome, or they’re not safe, or they’re poo pooed to turn our attention elsewhere because actually we get the being attentive to other people’s needs is where we get reinforced.
So we become expert readers of other people’s energy because that’s what kept us safe.
The gift of sensitivity was really born out of those, the trauma, the wound.
Being Open-Hearted Without Being Energetically Unguarded
Absolutely.
And yeah, it’s so beautiful when we can recognize that.
And, you know, and what happens to that woman when she doesn’t have any energetic boundaries?
She thinks it’s like, selfish to do that.
So what do you think happens to her?
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Well, I know what happens.
I see these women all the time in my healing studio or they are talking to students.
They are drained.
They’re feeling maybe not of their self that they’re overshadowed with other people’s energy, but also and really feeling it in the body where they are feeling emotions and sensing things that may be confusion because they’re not realizing where’s all these emotions and energy coming from.
I don’t really understand that.
So by having no boundaries is really hurtful with our own.
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Energy.
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
I’ve lived this myself, you know, as a coach for all these years and you know, as a sensitive human being, I’ve had to learn sometimes the hard way, the difference between being open hearted and being energetically unguarded.
I’m going to say that again, the difference between being open hearted and being energetically unguarded, they are not the same thing.
And learning that difference changed how I work, how I show up, how I end the day still feeling like myself and not like I’ve been wrung out.
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So let’s make this practical because I think for a lot of women, energetic boundary sounds abstract and maybe a little bit out there.
I I’m not sure I think that the women listening to our podcast on don’t think it’s way out there because they.
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Know they know who we are, but.
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You know, I think that protection and clearing are essential and I think the key thing is some of the easy ones to do or visualizing you’re in a bubble of protection in the morning, maybe saying a little prayer if with our last episode, being introduced to your spirit guides to protect you and then maybe cleansing yourself with when you’re showering, have the intention that it’s clearing the energy.
Anything that’s stuck that got stuck to you might be be clearing, but there’s lots of different crystals and different tools that people can use to really enhance their energetic boundaries.
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Exactly.
You know, even the very proclamation of I am protected, you know, can can work.
And you know, a friend of mine doesn’t have a bathtub in her house, just a shower.
And she was pining about the fact that she couldn’t take like, a salt bath to clear her energetic field.
And then she discovered that in the shower, you can just put salt on your body in the shower and get the same effect.
So I thought, you know, sometimes our solutions don’t have to be very complicated, you know.
And from the coaching side, I want to talk about the relational piece because energetic boundaries aren’t just about mystical protection, although that is extremely important.
They’re about choices.
They’re about who you let into your inner circle.
Is anybody like giving me an Amen on that or, you know, thumbs up on that?
You know, who are you letting into your inner circle and how long you stay in conversations that end up costing you, whether you give your energy away before you filled yourself up first.
And that’s the big one, right?
Cultivating Your Energy Field: Boundaries as Conscious Gates
Totally.
That’s one is enormous.
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Yes, yeah.
It’s where so many women in service, healers, coaches, mothers, teachers, lose ourselves.
We pour out before we’ve poured in.
And then we wonder why we’re empty.
Absolutely.
And.
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I think it’s just really important that if you are a healer, you’re working as a healer and or you’re in the medical field or counselor to really have those strong energetic boundaries and to to detach some weight at the end of the night.
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Absolutely.
That’s soul level self-care.
And not to knock bubble baths or yoga or stretching or whatever it might be.
Those are very, very helpful as well.
But to be very intentional about this.
And I I want to address something directly because I hear this from women so often.
If I set boundaries like energetic ones or otherwise, won’t I just become like a cold person?
Won’t I stop being able to feel and connect and care?
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I think it’s almost the opposite, because when you are truly sovereign in your own energy, you create more capacity for love, not less.
When you’re not constantly giving your energy and it being drained, you have so much more to give to those that really matter to you.
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Absolutely.
I call that leaking out energy.
And we can do that if we’re not paying attention.
And a boundary is?
It’s not a wall.
A wall shuts everything out.
A boundary is more like a gate.
I see it like a gate.
You get to choose what comes in and what doesn’t come in.
You stay in the exchange.
You just do it more consciously.
Yep.
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Some of my with my advanced students, we actually have guides that are called gatekeepers that do exactly that.
So if you’re interested in that, you can check things out.
But on this topic, we talked about maintaining the integrity of the energy field, not stealing it, you know, not sealing it or shutting it down, but tending to it, almost like the way you tend to a garden.
And I’m going to go back to what I said before.
What you feed grows.
So you want to grow that love.
You want to grow those intentions.
You don’t want to put cement over everything.
You want to cultivate it and pull up those weeds, water it so that it’ll grow beautiful flowers and expand.
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I love that, that that image, you know, like not cementing over it.
We’re cultivating and pulling the weeds and water what we want to grow.
Yeah.
Pulling out what we don’t.
And here’s what I’ll say for the solopreneur, the coach, the woman building something in the world.
Your energy is your business.
I mean literally the quality of what you create, who you treat, attract, and how you show up, all of it flows from the state of your energy.
Protecting it isn’t selfish, it is the work.
Learning from Experience: Personal Stories of Energetic Boundaries
So as always, we love a story and this topic is so rich with them.
Mary, do you have a story?
A moment where you saw energetic boundaries or the absence of them change everything for someone or even yourself.
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I see clients all the time that this has impacted from having too much negative energy come in, that they are affected by being sick.
I’ve seen lack of energetic boundaries allowing things to attach themselves.
This is a big deal.
This is something to really take seriously where you can have a lot of energy attached to you that will make you I’ll make you maybe over shadow what you want to do.
It’s something to really address and think of and to look at cautiously to look at.
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Deliberately.
And like you’ve said so many times, Mary, it’s not anything to be afraid of.
It’s something to be aware of so that you can deal with it.
And so, yeah, so I have so many stories of the women that I’ve coached over the years.
And, you know, for example, together in a coaching session, we would come up with what her next steps or her accountabilities were going to be so she could be creating the life of her dreams.
And then next time we’d get together and she would say that she didn’t get her accountabilities done.
And I never judge people.
I feel like they do things or don’t do them when they’re ready.
And, and so, but I, I will ask, So what happened?
You know, just in a very non judgmental way.
And they’ll say, well, you know, I was doing this for my son and I was doing that for my neighbor and I was doing blah, blah, blah, blah, you know, and on and on it goes.
And that’s where they’re not setting boundaries and putting themselves first, which we have to do because as you said earlier, Mary, if we don’t, we’re leaking our own energy out.
And then we are not able to really truly the live the lives that we came here to this earth to live.
And my own personal story is I had a friend who was in my life for many, many years and I did not see, it was kind of like, you know, the, what is it, the frog and the boiling water kind of thing.
I didn’t see how this relationship was depleting me.
And every time I got off a call, phone call with this friend, I felt so depleted.
I wanted to like, go to bed and like at 6:00 in the evening, you know?
And So what I realized was that it was me not paying attention to how I was leaking out my energy.
So she always had major problems in her life and I was using my beautiful coaching skills.
And on and on it went.
And when I addressed that with her, she did not want to change.
She told me that she was very happy with the way the relationship was.
So the relationship ended and I have to say what a gift that has been for me because I did not realize how exhausting that friendship was.
Was it painful to lose a friend after all those years?
Yes it was and to this day I still miss certain things about her, but I don’t miss how I was not using my boundaries proper properly and she was taking advantage of my open heart and my goodness.
So here we are in our soul fire Spark your practice until we meet again.
Your Soul Fire Spark: Practical Energy Audit & Clearing
So here it is sisters.
Mm hmm.
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This week, we’re inviting you to try an energy audit.
Just one day.
Pick any day this week and notice.
Notice who you feel lighter around or who you feel heavier around.
How your friends or family impact you.
Notice what Which activities fill you with joy energy and which ones train you.
And, and you don’t need to necessarily change anything yet, just notice.
And I would encourage you to journal it, write down where you’re feeling in your body, how you’re feeling it, so you can come back to it.
But just check that out.
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I love that you said don’t feel like you have to change anything just yet just to notice it because that it’s the awareness that we’re building.
And for people who don’t like to journal, and I know there are a lot of us out there, I don’t care to journal so much anymore.
Occasionally I do, but for the most part I don’t.
But what I do is I use my phone and record sometimes a thought so that I can remember it or capture it later.
Because, you know, getting back to that idea of awareness, it’s always the first boundary.
You can’t protect what you can’t see.
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At the end of the day, so at the end of the day, find a quiet moment and do something simple to clear your energy.
You could do the Epsom salt shower.
That is a really good way to clear your energy.
Or literally just shaking out your hands, moving around, deliberately releasing anything as that, and saying this, I’m releasing what is not mine.
And take a few deep breaths and get grounded.
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I love that.
I love that.
And if you are in a position where you can do this, maybe take a moment to think of a place where you have allowed your own boundaries to be violated or you have violated them yourself by not keeping them.
Just take a moment to think of that.
And then if you’re able, just shake your hands.
Just shake your hands.
Animals, when they have encountered something traumatic or upsetting, they shake their whole bodies and it feels really good when you are able to put down what you have been carrying.
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You are allowed to take up space in your own energy field, sisters.
All of it.
It belongs to you.
The World Needs You Lit Up: Protect Your Precious Energy
Yes, yes and yes.
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Hey Soul Fire sisters, we hope today’s conversation gave you permission to protect what’s precious, starting with yourself.
Because the world doesn’t need you depleted.
The world needs you all lit up.
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For sure, until we meet again.
Feel the fire in your own soul and live from it our.
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World needs your passion, your gifts and your heart.
Don’t wait, lean in, do it now.
Whatever your it is, do it now.
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Let’s create a new world for ourselves and for future generations.
Thank you, dear listeners, for sharing this sacred space with us today.
Soul Fire Sisters is very lovingly created and produced by ME, Dawn Morningstar and Doctor Mary Newstrom with editing and publishing by Sean Fujo.
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This podcast is brought to you by Zenithai LLC, Spirit Flow Shamanic Study Programs, New World Women and Radiant Face 18 and is featured on the New World Women Voices of Wisdom podcast.
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You can find all of the ways to connect with us in the show notes.
Farewell for now and remember your soul fire knows the way.
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Bye everyone.
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See you next time.
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Hey Soul Fire Sisters, we hope you’ve enjoyed this episode.
Please share Soul Fire Sisters with your friends.
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Until we meet again, reflect on the changes you want to make, feel the fire in your soul, and live from that fire.
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Our world needs your passion, your gifts, your heart.
Don’t wait, do it now.
Whatever your it is, do it now.
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Let’s use our power to create a world we actually want to live in, a loving new world for ourselves and for future generations.
We’ve got this.