Igniting Inner Fire: The Art of Letting Go
Hi, I’m Doctor Mary Newstrom.
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And I’m Dawn Morningstar, welcome to Soul Fire Sisters, a sacred space where we ignite women’s inner fire, awaken their truth, and share soulful conversations that inspire, heal, and empower.
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Each episode we dive deep into themes of self discovery, intuition, feminine wisdom, and spiritual growth, guided by raw stories, fierce honesty, and a shared desire to live boldly and authentically.
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Whether you’re on a healing journey, seeking deeper connection, or ready to rise in your power, you are not alone.
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Dawn Morningstar, which is her given name, has been a Women’s Self Empowerment Coach for 37 years, is the award-winning author of Venerable Women, Transform Ourself.
Transform the World is a former radio talk show host, a podcast host, Ted X Speaker, the creator of Radiant Face 18 and Co founder of New World Women.
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Doctor Mary Newstrom is an internationally known shamanic teacher, a spiritual minister, and a keynote speaker.
She founded Zenith High LLC and created Spirit Flower, a shamanic study program for women.
She’s committed to helping women and men develop a strong sense of purpose as they examine and understand how to stand clearly in their power.
Speaker 1
Welcome to the sisterhood, Your soul showed up for a reason.
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Welcome back, Soul Fire Sisters.
I’m Dawn Morningstar.
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And I’m Doctor Mary Newstrom, and we are so glad you’re here with us today.
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Last episode we talked about energetic boundaries.
That was a great conversation and how to protect your light without losing your heart or closing your heart.
Unpacking Why We Hold On So Tightly
And that word protect is exactly where today’s episode begins.
Because sometimes the most powerful thing we can protect ourselves from is what our own grip, right?
Yeah.
Speaker 1
It’s the things we won’t release, or can’t release, or maybe don’t know how to release.
It’s those old, old stories, old relationships, the old version of our self that we keep returning to.
Not because they serve us any in any way that’s positive, but because they’re familiar.
Speaker 2
It’s like a loop.
Speaker 1
Yeah, totally.
Speaker 2
Yeah, today we know it well.
Today we’re talking about the art of letting go.
And I want to say this like right away, right from the start, that this isn’t about pretending that things didn’t matter.
And it’s certainly not about bypassing grief or hurrying up your healing.
That can be really dangerous and unhelpful.
Letting go is a sacred act, and it deserves real attention.
Speaker 1
Yeah.
And in many earth based spiritualities, releasing is considered really essential and very much holy work and there are many ceremonies for that, rituals, community witnesses and we’re going to talk about some of those today.
Speaker 2
I love this.
So let’s begin, as we always do, with a breath.
Wherever you are, in your car, on a walk, making dinner, just arrive.
Arrive for a moment, breathe in, and as you exhale, let your shoulders drop.
Let your jaw unclench.
Feel what it’s like to just release one small thing, just one breath’s worth.
That’s the beginning of today’s practice.
Mary, I want to start here with an honest question.
Why is letting go so hard?
Because if it were simple, we’d all just do it naturally, right?
But clearly we don’t.
Clearly there’s something in us that holds on even when holding on is hurting us.
So what does your shamanic lens tell you about that idea of holding on?
Speaker 1
Well, actually my shamanic lens, but also my PhD in psychology and having lived a long life, it is.
There’s lots of different reasons why it’s hard to let go on a spiritual level level.
It could be the lessons you came down to learn, your karma, your soul contract.
And that can be really difficult, but I know everyone listening can understand you keep with relationships, you keep going back to the same type of person or you’re in these situations that are the same and those are for lessons for you to learn.
So it could be that.
It could be you’re hanging on for because it’s familiar.
Change is a little bit hard for some people.
Of course, that that that that going off and letting go might mean that you have to be different.
The other thing is that when we hang on to things too long, they can really, this is where I see people is that they create illness because that energy, what we talked about last session, the energy coming at us, I call it poisonous darts.
There’s a lot of energy that comes at us.
And if it gets settled in your body, you don’t a person doesn’t feel well or they don’t, they don’t feel grounded.
And but there’s so there’s lots of reasons why, but the biggest reason to let go of things is it’ll give you more sovereignty and freedom.
So you really become into your own authentic self.
And you do that by letting go of stories and things that don’t serve you.
Letting Go of Jobs, Relationships, and Old Selves
I love that.
And what you were just describing is being energetically stuck.
You’re just stuck.
And I see it in women.
I coach all the time and here’s what strikes me as so often what they’re holding on to isn’t even something they want.
It’s not like, I mean, it’s one thing to hold on to something you really want, but if it’s something you don’t want, that’s a whole different thing.
It’s a job maybe that drained them, but they’re staying in it for some reason.
A relationship that diminished them.
And like you said, we might still repeat the same relationship with, just with a different person, right?
The same dynamics with just a different person and, you know, or a version of themselves that they outgrew years ago and yet.
Speaker 1
Yeah, yeah.
And yet even it’s it feels they’re they are really stuck in that because of the fact it taking that next step and being bold and it might be even painful.
Yeah, safer to stay in, You know, it’s safer to stay with that same story.
Speaker 2
It can be scary as hell, you know?
I mean, it really can.
And you know, the identity piece is really huge too.
Like when you’ve been the woman who was in that marriage, I know that one personally, or built that business or carried that wound.
Releasing it means releasing a piece of who you’ve been.
And that’s not nothing that deserves acknowledgement.
Speaker 1
Yeah, and actually also I, it’s like your social circles, your professional circles, how you think you’ll be going to be judged.
Naming some of the things that most women or anybody, Hank commonly holds onto is the fact that relationships, we’ve already talked about that, Hank, the relationships that are no longer aligned and maybe you’ve grown spiritually, you’ve grown in some way and the other individual hasn’t.
Yep.
Careers, jobs.
I know that I really had to let go of my corporate job to move into this type of job.
And my spirit guides, who we’ve already talked about guides and things too, really had to push me because of the fact that people are stay in our society.
People stay in jobs because of insurance insurance and the check And it’s so it’s all of that has you have to be bold on little things.
So it’s I want to go back to already Dawn talked about things that individuals draining you.
So here, if if a friend is draining you, you need a good.
I want to make a suggestion.
I don’t want to tell anybody what they have to do.
They’re draining you and they’re not filling you up or you’re feeling good.
You may want to contemplate letting them go.
Courage to Shift Relationships and Business Identity
Yeah.
Speaker 1
Letting them go.
Speaker 2
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, we can’t talk about letting go without talking about that.
And I, I have several women in my life who over the past years, as they’ve grown and come into a fuller version of themselves, they found that their social circles or their inner circle, in some cases, it shrunk, it got smaller.
Because like you said, and this can be true in a romantic relationship as well.
If you are growing, growing, growing and expanding and the other person isn’t, that can be a reason to, well, I’ll say it this way, that’s not where you start.
Because we could always invite someone, you know, to be, you know, growing in their own way or whatever.
But I know from personal experience and from all the women I’ve coached over the years, there are times where that romantic relationship will end or a friendship will end because it’s just not aligned anymore.
And that’s another thing I think about in letting go of anything.
Like, it could be letting go of a bad habit, right?
Is this aligned with who I am anymore?
You know, and, and one that I, I see a lot in the women I work with, especially the entrepreneurs and coaches.
They hold on to the version of their business or their brand or their offer that they started off with many years ago and that used to work.
But in some cases, guess what?
It never did work right?
But they were so like in love with it, You know, I mean, I have a client right now who she hired me to help her with her branding and to have like real life and energy into it.
And sure enough, she went right back to what she was already doing and just read me and say, I think I need another session because what you had suggested would be better for my business.
So anyway, all kinds of things that need to be let go of, and when they are, they change us.
They change us for the better.
Speaker 1
Yeah, oh, yeah.
And actually I today I was, I revised my shamanic training program all the time to keep it updated, keep some of the keys, keeps key structures.
But not only do we change, but the times change in the, the needs change.
So if you’re talking about a business or you’re talking about if you’re serving some people, it’s like my students have changed, they’ve changed, they haven’t changed.
I mean, obviously the core is about the same, but our energy as a, as, as a country and as a community has totally changed.
And so therefore I need to look at meeting their needs in a new innovative way.
And then, you know, but, but that’s, that’s really it.
It does take time and effort and I can see why someone would be just like I’m just going to keep doing the same old thing and plug along.
Speaker 2
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Well.
Speaker 1
Go ahead.
Right.
Yeah, You have to get beyond the fear of, of like I said, being different.
My, my, what I teach is different than what my mentors taught me because the, some of the ideas, not the foundations, but I’ve, I’ve evolved, shamanism has evolved, Earth based spirituality has evolved.
And that should be how it is.
I would expect my students to teach my foundational things with their own spin to it, but that takes that takes courage.
Speaker 2
Yeah, it really does.
Yes.
I right before we started recording, I was telling you, Mary, I’m rebranding my facial serum that I’ve been making for 14 years.
And it’s because the times are changing.
People describe things differently.
I realized that I needed to make my message simpler for people to understand.
So I will reveal all of the new rebrand in a in an upcoming episode.
But for now, I am doing exactly what you did, Mary, which is taking a look at the market, taking a look at the world, taking a look at where people are.
And my facial serum is, you know, it’s made in sacred ceremony and I was afraid to talk about that because I thought people in the market might think that’s weird.
But guess what?
I’m going for it.
I’m you saw it, 18 sacred botanicals.
I put the word sacred right on the label because that’s who I am and it aligns.
So I let go of the old identity or I’m in the process of letting go of the old identity of my product, but not the product itself.
Just like you said with your teachings or what you learned, you keep the core of it, but you may want to evolve into a different way to talk about it or experience it.
Speaker 1
That’s good.
That’s that’s trusting your guides, that’s trusting full of energy.
And we are all evolving and changing and with the frequency and the energy and if we let fear hold us back, that’s where people can really pick it up.
It’s old energy.
It’s like a product they don’t want to buy, or it’s a program they don’t want to tap into, or it’s a friendship they don’t want to.
Yeah, you know, continue with.
Dissipating Stuck Energy with Sacred Rituals
And as I already mentioned that if we all, what can happen if you’re not in flow, not letting go and you have that stuck energy.
People come to me for healings and they’ll, they say that all the time.
It’s it does create illness.
It can be depression, it can be I just feel off.
It can be deeper than that too.
But definitely some techniques too that I, I would recommend just letting things roll off of you like a duck with water.
Let’s the the they have duck feathers just rolls right off of them and start letting and learning how to let things go.
Speaker 2
Exactly.
Yeah.
And that’s why this episode is an optional.
And you know, Mary, going back, you used the the probably the most important word in all of this, and that’s trust.
You know, we have to trust ourselves.
We have to trust the process and we have to trust that we are continually evolving, otherwise we get stagnant.
So.
Speaker 1
Yeah, you know, I, I, I, I, I totally agree.
And and so some the ceremony, there’s definitely ceremonies you can do.
I’m going to, I’ll touch on one, but this is something that I want to teach that people can do every day to let go because the fact that we’re so busy doing a whole ceremony around Suffolk.
And what does that mean?
And I’m going to start with, I’m going to explain the duck feathers when it and when, when you’re getting information you don’t like or you being you’re peppered with energy, you just let it roll off and bounce off and you don’t let it land.
Now, can you do this right away of you’ll have to practice?
You may have to practice, but that’s one, one way of letting it just let it roll off.
What I started practicing is when things happen, I say to myself, there’s another way of looking at this and I try to reframe it in more of a positive way.
That’s letting go.
That’s not latching in to any stuck energy with a soap.
But I want to bring up the ceremony because then this will highlight, let’s say you, you want to maybe end working at a job or a relationship.
Obviously you have to do the work with that.
But if you want to do it on an energetic level, you could do what’s called a fire ceremony.
And please be careful if you’re, if you’re lighting a fire.
But what you can do is you can create, you could write down on a piece of paper or create something that would represent that the energy of whatever you want to release.
So you can take some twigs and leaves and infuse it with his.
I want to release.
I’m my intention is to release this connection to this person that we’re no longer aligned and then release it through fire.
And then that will also help dissipate those cords and that energy that’s attached to you.
How the Soul Views What We Let Go
I love that.
That’s a good one.
That’s very effective.
Over the years, many people do the bolt burning bowl ceremony at the start of a new year, you know, letting go of things so that we can create the space for new things to come into our lives.
And, you know, along with this idea of letting go is for me what I am learning to do.
And I’ve done a version of this, but now I’m doing it even deeper is when something feels either triggering to me or uncomfortable to me, or is bringing up an old wound.
I look at what that is.
I identify it to the best of my ability using my words so I’m clear about what it is I’m feeling.
And then I’m asking myself to see it from my soul’s perspective.
Because sometimes we’re just looking at the human things that are happening and they’re important and they’re real.
But so for example, I had an an aunt I was very, very close to.
She was part of raising me in throughout my life and I loved her dearly.
And when she died, she and she had quite a bit of money.
When she died, she did not leave me any money at all, which was really surprising because she always said I was like her third child.
She had two biological children.
Welcome to find out later.
I found that after she died and the money passed to her husband, there were some shenanigans that happened that I probably was in the will.
But that’s not the story here.
The story is I was devastated and I carried that pain with me for a long time and I really had a hard time letting it go.
And and then I realized, what would my soul say about this?
My soul would say, look at what she brought you in your life.
She helped you to see who you really were.
She honored you, she loved you, she protected you.
She gave you all of these gifts and so from my souls perspective that was much more important than having a few $1000 or more sent my way.
So that’s the way that I am letting go now is asking how does my soul see this?
Speaker 1
And that goes back to soul contracts and costs.
Soul team, That definitely was a pivotal soul contract that played out, and I’m so glad you were able to release that.
Releasing is really important because it stays in the body and that’s what we keep talking about.
Embracing New Beginnings Through Letting Go
That’s why it’s so important.
Speaker 2
Yes, well, I’d love to turn a corner here because I think letting go often gets framed as a loss of some sort or an emptying out, but I’ve come to see it differently.
I mean, what if releasing is actually the most creative act there is?
Speaker 1
Of course, yeah.
And we really need, we see nature cycles.
We see that when it’s fall and winter that our trees drop their leaves, many of the trees, not all of them, of course.
And that that really is indicating that there’s death and rebirth.
And so really looking at letting go, as already was stated, is a way for you to then welcome in new energy, new leaves, new opportunities, new relationships.
If you’ve crammed your time so tight with activities and people, there’s no room for anybody new to come in or new opportunities.
Speaker 2
Exactly.
And this is where I get really excited because for women building something in the world, this is the conversation that changes everything.
Like when you release the old offer, the old brand, the old way of being, the old story about why you can’t.
You create a vacuum and nature fills the vacuum.
Speaker 1
And that’s why too, we want to honor and really you don’t want to rush things you.
I know when I’m letting go, if it’s very important that I’ve had to let go through some major family relationships and I’ve had to, I process it.
I’ve talked to my close friends.
I’m sure that they would be happy if I never talked about it again.
And it’s mostly because you need to go through that process.
But when I drop into my body and I feel in my body about the decision, I feel really good.
So keep in mind, you’re going to start getting clues.
You’re going to be more energetic or you’re going to be feeling like you’re on the right path.
This is really important.
Real-Life Examples of Letting Go for Growth
Yes, yes, well, it’s story time and we love a good story and this topic.
There are many, many stories we could tell.
Mary, do you have anything that you’d like to share, like a moment of release?
I know you just talked about releasing, you know, relationship with a family member or maybe someone else or what, what what story of release can you think of?
Speaker 1
I think that what I, well, I’m, I’m just going to do it on a more global level.
I think that I’ve noticed is that with individuals I work with as their frequency and the resonance their spiritual awakening is happening that the individuals around them sometimes are step away and make room for this individual to continue their path.
And sometimes you have to deliberately make that break too.
And it’s not a negative.
It’s just you’re a person is going into a different frequency or a different interest.
And that’s the way to look at it.
It’s like we’re all growing and that might have to, that might mean seeing people in a different way.
Another thing is of course people can take different roles instead of being very close.
Like let’s for example, let’s say you have a friend, you’re going to go, you spend a lot of time in bars with and drinking and you’ve decided you’re not going to do that.
Well, you could still hang out with and maybe go to a movie with them.
So it doesn’t totally get rid of everything.
Speaker 2
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
Well, the story of letting go that comes to mind right now for me is many years ago when I was still married, I had designed and built a beautiful house, the House of my dreams, on a lake here in Minnesota.
And it was glorious.
It was everything I could have ever wanted in a home.
And so when the marriage ended, it was time for me to find a new place.
And I had invested a lot in the creation of that home and it felt like it was almost part of my identity because it’s like, oh, let’s go to Don’s and we can swim in the lake, you know, and all of that.
So by asking the question of what does my soul want for me, I ended up moving where I live now, which is absolutely ideal location wise.
It’s a lovely home.
It’s great for holding retreats and things at my house.
And so the letting go actually opened the door for me to live in a really lovely area that I had always wanted to live in, even before I built my other house.
And so the letting go actually gave me a gift that I would not have had had I stayed in that marriage and had I stayed in that home.
Creating Space for What Wants to Grow Now
So here’s your soul fire spark for this week, sisters.
Speaker 1
Yes.
This week we invite you to write a release letter.
Find a quiet moment.
Just take 10 minutes and write something you’re ready to let go of.
It could be a person, a belief, a version, old version of yourself, a story you’ve been telling.
Write the letter.
Thank you for what it gave you in the lesson.
But then tell it it’s time to go.
And if you want to take a little bit step further, you could burn it as well.
Burn it into a fire ceremony.
Speaker 2
Absolutely.
You could.
Yeah, you could put it in water and let it dissolve.
Some people bury it in the earth.
That could be interesting too.
So let the you know.
Let your body be a part of the releasing and not just your mind.
Speaker 1
And releases, it’s not just a thought, it’s an event.
And that’s why sometimes these ceremonies is for you for this event to to take hold and and to also give notice to your spirit guides that you’re ready to let this go too.
Speaker 2
Absolutely.
And when you’re done, breathe, place your hand on your heart and ask what wants to grow here, now?
Listen for whatever comes to you.
And you might not get the answer right away.
And you don’t have to act on it yet, just let it be heard.
Or just be aware that there’s an opening for something new to come into.
Speaker 1
Your life, absolutely don’t rush that.
No rush opening up space and you’re always in the process of becoming sisters.
Trust the letting go, it knows the way.
Speaker 2
Absolutely.
Speaker 1
Hey Soul Fire Sisters, we hope today’s conversation gave you both permission and a path.
Permission to release what’s been heavy and a path to what’s waiting for you on the other side of that release.
Speaker 2
Until we meet again, feel the fire in your soul and live from it.
Speaker 1
Our world needs your passion, your gifts, your heart.
Don’t wait, lean in.
Do it now.
Whatever your it is, do it now.
Speaker 2
Let’s create a new world for ourselves and for future generations.
Thank you, dear listeners, for sharing this sacred space with us today.
Soul Fire Sisters is lovingly created and produced by ME, Dawn Morningstar and Doctor Mary Newstrom with editing and publishing by Sean Fujo.
Speaker 1
This podcast is brought to you by Zenith High LLC, Spirit Flow Shamanic Study Programs, New World Women and Radiant Face 18 and is featured on the New World Women Voices of Wisdom podcast.
Speaker 2
You can find all the ways to connect with us in the show notes.
Farewell for now and remember your soul fire knows the way.
Speaker 1
Let it go bye.
Speaker 2
Bye, see you next time.
Let it go.
Speaker 1
Hey Soul Fire Sisters, we hope you’ve enjoyed this episode.
Please share Soul Fire Sisters with your friends.
Speaker 2
Until we meet again, reflect on the changes you want to make, feel the fire in your soul, and live from that fire.
Speaker 1
Our world needs your passion, your gifts, your heart.
Don’t wait, do it now.
Whatever your it is, do it now.
Speaker 2
Let’s use our power to create a world we actually want to live in, a loving new world for ourselves and for future generations.
We’ve got this.